Thought #1: Know who you are and what you truly want

Who You Are

You are you. Everyone else is taken. 

Your childhood. Your genetics. Your traumas. All of that is you. Wishing any of those things were different is a waste of time and energy because there is no changing what has happened. 

But do you know what also makes up you? Your choices. Your actions. Your work ethic. Your standards. Everything before this moment has shaped you, but everything you do from this moment on is in your control.

Don't waste your life wishing things outside of your control were different, because they never will be. You control what you control, and that is scary, beautiful and empowering at the same time. 

Know who you are, and own your life.

What You Truly Want

It's impossible to hit a target that isn't set. Perhaps even worse than missing a non-existent target is the feeling that even if it were there, you wouldn't be able to anyways. 

Both of these statements are obvious, yet we often neglect to reflect on what it is that we actually want and what we'd actually be willing to do to get it. Instead, we default to "I want to be more toned" or "I just want to work out consistently" or even something more specific like "I want to lose 20 lbs".

The problem is that these goals are either subjective, temporary, or both. To the goals above, I would ask (as I often do with my clients): Define the outcomes you seek as well as the challenges you're willing to face as a part of your daily lifestyle. Then, like a Venn Diagram, find where those two things intersect. This is where you will be able to live a balanced lifestyle of hard work and fun.

• OUTCOMES: Since being "toned' is typically defined as "muscular looking," anyone can technically be more toned if they are any degree more "muscular looking" than before. If I have $1000 today and $1010 tomorrow, technically, I have more money, but not by much. If I weigh 250 lbs today and lose 5 lbs of fat while just maintaining my current muscle mass, technically I am more toned. It's not a HUGE difference, but it is a difference. The question is: How much difference do you need to reach the initial goal? In the case of someone wanting to lose 20 lbs, that's great! But we must remember that most people regain that weight after losing it, which brings us to the next aspect of goal setting.
• LIFESTYLE: If most people who set out to lose weight are successful, then weight loss isn't the problem. Rather, the inability to  maintain that weight loss and recalibrate one's lifestyle to the newer, thinner version ourselves is. So the question is not: What outcomes do you want? Instead, it's: Once you have the outcomes you want, what are you willing to do to keep them? And by extension, what is the lifestyle you are willing to live?

If you just want to be healthy enough to play with your kids without losing your breath, then that's great! Just be honest with yourself upfront, and you won't feel the anguish of coming up short on a goal - like having a six pack by June - that you didn't truly (gun to your head) care about in the first place.

If you do want to get and keep a 6-pack, then you better be prepared to live the life of someone who does. They eat differently. They exercise differently. They have different priorities and habits that you'll need to adopt if you want that as well. 

Both sets of priorities are great! While your goals may change over time, in this moment be honest about who you are and what you truly want today. I promise that you'll have far more peace and confidence in your body if you pursue a life that aligns with your heart. 

Thought # 2: You’re either in or you’re out. Learn to trust yourself.

You can’t swim with one foot in the pool. You can’t pass a test with half the answers. You can’t have a fulfilling relationship if you’re always thinking about who else is out there. 

It took me most of my adult life to realize that to make any meaningful changes to my body composition, I had to commit to one proven strategy (of which there are many) until I got to the results I wanted. Like me, you will have doubts. You will feel defeated. You will wonder if it's worth it or if you’ve made a mistake. 

When you experience these feelings, just know that you’ve crossed a crucial threshold required to build trust in the process and in yourself…maybe for the first time. Celebrate these moments. Very few people get to experience that feeling of joy because very few people push through the void between frustration and success.

Thought # 3: Look beyond this chapter of life

This is not just about a short-term weightloss challenge, bootcamp, diet program, etc. This is about the rest of your unique, amazing, and worthwhile life. You will feel tempted to compare yourself to others who have quick and dramatic success in their diet and exercise journeys, but please remember something...

Nearly 80% of people who lose 10% of their weight eventually gain it back (and often gain more) after 5 years. And there are reasons we designed our programs to be focused on long-standing, scientifically proven methods that result in changes that last. 

Our goal for you, as you should have for yourself, is to find the Sweet Spot of Sustainable Progress. While challenges, restrictions, and frustrations will never go away in any worthy endeavor like the one you're embarking on, they can be integrated into your life more easily and naturally than before. 

Achievement and fulfillment - what wonderful gifts you can give to yourself every single day for the rest of your ever-improving life.

Thought #4: Perfect is the enemy of great

As science continues to advance, we will engineer strategies that are more efficient and effective than those of the past.

But remember this: The perfect strategy is useless if you hate it so much that you don’t do it. 

Reflect on what results you want (both best and worst case) as well as the lifestyle you're willing to live (aka the problems you're willing to endure to get those results). Then, build a plan that aligns with those goals. Learn what needs to be learned to sustain that behavior, then execute, experiment, reflect, refine, repeat. Find the combination of habits that are 70-80% as effective as the “perfect” plan, but you can sustain them for years. 

Spending a lifetime between good and great creates infinitely more value than a few months of perfection followed by burnout and quitting.

Thought #5: This is who you are now. And this is what you do.

Last, but not least. Don't make the mistake of looking at any fitness or diet journey like a patient looks at physical therapy or taking prescribed medication for a set duration of time before returning to their normal life.

While it's encouraged to take advantage of your initial stages of high motivation as you start a diet and/or program, make no mistake, your goal should be to build a new normal for yourself. There is no end date to this. As someone who cares about your fitness and wellness, I want you to repeat after me every time you wake up early, complete a workout, make a beneficial diet choice, etc.:

"This is who I am, and this is what I do."

Will dieting and exercise always be fun? Of course not!

• Is doing the laundry or washing the dishes fun when you could be relaxing? No, but having clean clothes to wear and dishes to eat on and drink from is really nice.

• Is saving money fun when you could be spending it? No, but now you have money for emergencies, peace of mind, and the freedom to spend it on vacations, dinners out, and whatever else you want because you saved.

• Is compromising with your partner on how you want to spend your Saturday night fun when you could be doing whatever you want? No, but investing love, consideration and time into that relationship pays lifelong dividends in the forms of love, intimacy, acceptance, and countless other things that healthy romantic relationships provide. 

So I’ll ask again: Will dieting and exercising always be fun? Of course not. But that was never on the table to begin with. 

Though you will grow to enjoy exercising and eating differently because you will become increasingly familiar and proficient in it, you must remember that you have many valuable things you do in life that are not fun. You do them because they make your daily life increasingly more fulfilling, valuable, and enjoyable. 

Strategic restriction and investment of time leads to more freedoms in life, not less. 

This is who you are now, and what a gift it is to live this new way. 

Until next time, be well...

Teddy Woolsey

I am the owner of the RBLD Fitness Unlimited Coaching Program and RBLD Fitness App

I also write about the intersection of fitness and sustainable behavior change

Let's connect on Instagram: @tedwoolsey